wondering about me.
i'm much better! yay!
i just have a cold now, but don't feel like i'm going to die.
yesterday was ROUGH and i'm thankful that's behind me.
i'm processing some stuff.
i'm not sure if it's the cold, or my brain, or my heart.
but i'm thinking about things and can't seem to come to CONCLUSIONS or DECISIONS and move ON.
i feel the urge to re-prioritize some stuff, to clean out areas of my house...and heart, to ACT on things i say. and there's so much there, that it's paralyzing sometimes.
and i'm tired.
and i hate so many circumstances for so many people.
and just PRAYING seems like it's not enough.
and i feel so very blessed and feel guilty for that.
(is this random or what?)
see. i'm all over the place.
moving on from the random words, to the random pictures...
rebekah slept in curlers the other night.
this girl has turned a corner and i don't even know how to describe it.
she has been the most INTENSE person since the moment she was born.
and we have had our issues. and struggles.
and i know they aren't over, by any means (people keep warning me about age 14...)
but, RIGHT NOW, we are in a good spot.
she is loving us. and her siblings.
and God. and the poor and the unborn babies (filling the sanctity of life bottle from church with her money).
her intensity just might get her (and the heart of God) pretty far in this world!
we are very proud of who she is and the choices she's making lately.
and i love being able to take the time to put her hair in curlers and the smile on her face the next morning when her daddy says, "you look so beautiful."
this took some patience.
but it was nice to be outside!!
(yes, those are golf clubs she's using to keep herself stable)
i edit most pictures.
not a lot. and probably not well, because i don't know what i'm doing.
but i didn't TOUCH this one.
i LOVE the sun on bailey's hair.
she's really always in his space.
but he's getting a little older and a little more able to handle it.
and it won't be long before he's in HER space and STUFF and THAT will be interesting! :-)
i spent a little while on the floor yesterday.
kids were playing Handy Manny on playhouse disney.
sawyer was playing the piano :-)
i was thinking (and trying to keep breathing through my cold.)
and our family room 1 hour into the morning. :-)
now i'm going to go help rebekah with her homework.
then we're going to go to the store and let joshua pick out his "birthday party plates".
and, everyone's favorite, TACOS for dinner!!!
11 comments:
So glad you're feeling better! Your words and heart for Rebekah are mine exactly for Jayla. I completely understand the intensity you are talking about, and the beautiful maturity that is emerging. Love how she gave for sanctity of life. Really, really, really love that. So sweet. You are doing a wonderful job Courtney.
exactly where I'm at too! (with the processing, cleaning out, etc....)
love all the pics.
great post!
When is Joshua's bday? We have Sully's party this weekend. His bday is the 11th.
and what kind of curlers does Rebekah sleep in? Her hair looks so pretty!
I'm loving these pictures, Court! They look great. Love hearing about all this...your kids, your heart and all of it. Especially love Pat telling Rebekah how beautiful she looks. My favorite!
those pics are great! You are certainly enjoying your little ones.
And I love, love love the pic of Bailey and Sawyer!
You are so deep and introspective. I love how you are always thinking and evaluating yourself and your life. Processing is a good thing, just don't be too hard on yourself. God knows your heart and your desire to follow Him. So just enjoy being His child and allow Him to take you by the hand and lead you to the person He wants you to be.
i LOVE today's pictures - just love it! Rebekah is BEAUTIFUL - PLEASE be sure to tell her I said that. She is growing up so fast. She's starting to remind me of HANNAH when I stood behind her as maid of honor in your wedding. I know Hannah was older, but Rebekah is starting to have that same look about her. Oh my word. Sweet girl.
i love, no, LOVE getting to see your life like that...and i love your heart...your mind and all that's going on in there...its so beautiful and is exponentially impacting people (did I even come CLOSE to spelling that right??!!!!) hopefully you know what I mean!!! :) xoxoxo! FEEL BETTER! :)
i get it.
that's all.
much love to the impeccably beautiful you.
who, naturally, would have a daughter and deep and beautifully intense as her parents.
people often love how they're taught to love...just saying :)...so, uh, nice work. you must be doing something uber-right.
and yesterday, i was praying specifically that they would entertain themselves a little extra so you would have time to breathe. You know, because we're all in this life thing together. We do not stand alone. I take no credit for that; I merely thank God that he hears us as we try to care for one another. I heard he (they) was (are)a fan of community. (Can I now sing you the unity-community-diversity song I made up in seminary during my class on the trinity? I do the box step while i sing it...cue the music...:) okay, now i'm just avoiding making dinner...much love...
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