why...
can i do so well ALL DAY until that last hour.
i just lose it!
i can't answer one more question.
or wipe one more bottom.
or clean one more mouth.
or smile one more time.
and then they are in bed.
and all is quiet.
and the guilt washes over me from that one hour.
what about the other 13 hours?? (or 14 today - remember? they were up at 6 today!)
if i could only hold it together that last hour...
ugh
5 comments:
i barely held it together today. no, i did not hold it together. i did not. i did not. i did not.
and yes, they finally get in bed and i feel terrible, but at the time they were just awful.
sometimes it is just so hard. and then it's just gone in a an instant when they are asleep.
but you're not alone.
grace and peace to you.
It is hard. The work is ever-present, even when you're exhausted and feeling finished. You are not alone! It seems all of us have to work on this to one extent or another. Some days (moments, minutes, seconds) we do well, and some not so much. But that does not discount the other 14 hours! I believe you are a wonderful mother, and I still want to be a Cassada kid to get in on some of that fun you all have ;-)
It's called the check out time (that's what Michael calls it) because at the end of the day, exhaustion takes hold and we just need a break. No excuses, no reason to feel guilty, being a parent is mentally and physically demanding.
did you read my blog post from yesterday? I was right there with you. Glad for the chance to start over today with clean slates and happy hearts...and happy for the forgiving heart of a child!
oh courtney. i have that same feeling almost every single night. it's awful and i always feel guilty after they're in bed. scott always reminds me that Anne of Green Gables says, "Tomorrow is a new day in which you have made no mistakes." somehow that always makes me feel better. you are such a great mom. the kids will remember the 13+ hours that you are "on". :)
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