sorry

i'm finding it MUCH easier to love and have compassion for those that are far away.
for those that i don't have to feed, and clothe, and have patience for every moment of every day.
and i hate it. i'm hating my heart right now. it's so ugly.
i am sorry for my kids and husband that are having to put up with me...
having to put up with my awful attitude, AND my sadness in my awful attitude.
i've said "i'm sorry" way more times this weekend than i would like to admit (and i'm sure i needed to say it even more than i actually did)

more to come...(wasn't that an uplifting post?)