i have special times of the day with each kid...just because of how the day normally goes.
my special time with rebekah is walking her home from school - it's just the 2 of us.
some days she's very talkative.
some days she hardly talks at all.
but that's ok. we just walk together. the 2 of us.
some days she holds my hand.
some days she doesn't.
i let her determine how things go.
this afternoon, she wasn't very talkative.
she got a little ahead of me.
instead of walking faster to catch up, i walked right behind her for a bit and just watched.
just took her in.
her walk. her ponytail that she did HERSELF. her backpack with the crazy things hanging off of it - all her doing. her tennis shoes without socks - that drives me crazy! (and is forbidden by the way).
i prayed for her. i thanked God for her.
i was so overwhelmed with love for her i LITERALLY wanted to stop and fall on my knees (face even) and lift her up to Him.
i ALWAYS love her. but sometimes it's hard to be LOVING her. because i'm so focused on what she's doing or not doing, what she's thinking or not thinking, and on and on.
oh, i was LOVING her. and it took my breath away.
and i had to tell myself...JUST KEEP WALKING.
10 comments:
Oh, I love this. So special! You are such a great mom!
now you've got me bawling.
i love this...it does take your breath away when we (as moms) are just quiet and our minds are quiet and we just watch!!! i am still trying to find those 1:1 special times with each of my 3 since karley arrived...i know it will happen but right now i feel like i don't have it together yet. where are your other ones when you and rebekah are walking home? hope your monday is going well
i do know that feeling.
and as much as i try to pull info out of my kids, everytime i let it go and just watch, i get more out of it. they are so precious right now. good for your for just "being" for a moment.
Courtney, you brought tears to my eyes reading about your unconditional love for Rebekah. I loved how you described it....it took my breathe away.Yes there are times when it's hard to be loving her but that deep, deep love is still there. I'm so impressed too at how you "let" her do things herself like her ponytail, backpack, etc. That was a very hard one for me, but I used to try and remind myself that it isn't causing any harm and it's okay. May God continue to bless you with days and thoughts like this as you journey on in your mothering....the most important "job" you will ever have.
Oh Courtney. You are so wonderful at expressing yourself this way. She's going to read this 10 years from now and so appreciate these ways that you have loved her. By letting her do her own hair. By letting her not wear socks (or at least not harping on it that day). By allowing her to walk ahead. Sometimes it's hardest just to watch them, but oh how it warms the heart. You are an amazing Mom Courtney. And you are EXACTLY the Mom that Rebekah needs and is SO blessed to have!
Wonderful heart my daughter. The love of a mom for her daughter....how I relate. And...I still at my age love to "watch" my daughters....my sons....live their life.....and I'm still so in love with each one of you.....as tears are rolling down my cheeks....I'm so thankful God blesses us with children....young and adults. I love you dear Courtney, Mom
your children are so blessed to have you as their mom. You are such a gift to them, just as they are to you.
Good for you for taking the time to soak it in!!! It's so easy to let those moments pass just us by because we are too rushed!
Thank you for posting this, I feel the same way about just paying attention to their actions instead of just loving them.
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